


Keep Your Eyes Locked On Mine

by fuckpyne



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Coming Untouched, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, Rimming, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 06:32:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2841443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckpyne/pseuds/fuckpyne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Oi Niall!” Louis shouts not breaking eye contact with Harry.</p><p>“Yeah mate?” Niall walks out of the kitchen area with a pint and a packet of crisps. </p><p>“Get out.” Louis tells him nonchalantly. “I mean unless you like to watch Harry and I fucking then you’re welcome to stay.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep Your Eyes Locked On Mine

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://hazzzly.tumblr.com)

Its just gone four in the morning but Louis still can’t get to sleep. The humidity is leaving the air thick and heavy which is making it harder to breath and making him sweat. He’s already kicked the covers to his ankles and onto Harry’s side of the bed. Over the last few hours he’s slowly removed all of his clothing so he’s left in a pair of boxers. He runs a hand through his hair with  a frustrated sigh that he silently prays doesn’t wake Harry up.

He looks over to him; he looks calm and complacent, oblivious to the world and every stress around him. This is his favourite Harry. Especially since the panic attacks have been coming back. He’s not sure what set them off and never does Harry apparently. Either that or he’s just being too nice, they both know Louis wouldn’t bat an eyelid at get someone fired if they were causing Harry any sort of physical or emotional pain.

Harry hasn’t had any panic attacks since the first show they ever did together. That because since then Louis has learnt the different stages of Harry being stressed and knows when and how to intervene. That’s why Louis feels so helpless now, nothing he would usually do is helping Harry however it’s not making him worse so he keeps trying. He’s not used feeling like this, he’s not really sure what this feeling is. Harry being in pain usually ends in Louis making it better; fixing it as soon as the problem occurs. But he doesn’t know what the problem is and he can’t fix it. He feels helpless and useless.

If he isn’t good at making Harry feel better then what is he good at?

He feels a tear run down the side of his face. He wipes it away and scurries off to the bathroom. Once the doors locked he collapses down the side of it and starts crying which rapidly escalates into sobbing. He feels likes he’s letting out all the hurt and frustration that’s been cooped up for weeks. He remembers something a therapist told him about why it was so good to cry. She told him that he should imagine the tears being all his fears and worries leaving his body, then  collect them in the tissue and flush the problems away. By that conclusion he should feel better but apparently it just makes him feel shittier.  

"L-Lou?" Harry knocks hesitantly on the door soft-spoken, considering the better option was to pretend to be asleep for when Louis came back to bed. He clears his throat. "You okay in there?".

Fuck. Louis thinks banging his head against the wall, he’s made Harry worry about him and when it should always be the other way round. To top it off he’s woken Harry up too. Well done Louis you’ve cocked up Harry’s first chance in ages to have a proper nights sleep. Tosser. Louis subconscious nags. He wipes his face and splashes some water on his redden cheeks while calling back.

"Yeah everything’s fine H. Just going for a midnight piss y’know?” He thinks it he plays it off sarcastically Harry won’t notice any things off. “And yes before you say it I know it’s four in the morning." He chokes out a laugh which ends up sounding like a cry.

He opens the door smiling but he knows he’s already caught out when Harry reaches out and pulls him in for a hug and kissing the top of his head, which would usually make Louis complain but he leaves it.

"We need to talk." Harry states like it wasn’t the great big elephant in the room.

"You talk, I’ll listen." Louis suggests and grabs his hand, leading him to sit down on the sofa.

"I know what’s been causing the panic attacks." Harry’s fidgeting with his hands and looking down, probably feeling guilty for not telling Louis about it earlier. When the silence isn’t filled Louis rubs his thigh and smiles in encouragement for him to continue. "It’s us Louis." He barks out a quick cry, looks at Louis then looks away almost immediately.

That’s confusing. Louis feels like he’s in one of those end of the world movies, where everything around them is crumbling apart. Louis world is Harry and if this is what he thinks it is then Harry’s leaving him. He always knew this would happen. Harry would realise he could have any man or women he wants, why would he settle for a little kid from Doncaster?

"I want what Zayn and Perrie have, Lou!  I want the house and the ring and the pets! I want to be able to go out in public holding hands with my boyfriend and I want to be able to kiss him and I want everyone to know he’s mine! I want to be a normal couple who can do whatever they want! I can’t do this anymore, I can't deal with it and I don’t want to deal with it!"

Harry’s in hysterics at this point, crying into Louis shoulder; entire body convulsing with the sobs heaving through his body. Louis starts combing through Harry’s hair to get him to calm down but he’s crying too because that’s what he wants as well, that’s what he’s desperate for. The worst part is that even though Louis knows what the problem is he can’t fix it, God knows if he could he’d jump at the opportunity. Also he can’t tell Harry to wait for One Direction to be over, when they won’t have a team of people constructing their entire lives because that’s a whole different anxiety they try to avoid.  

 

****

 

They manage to go back to sleep for another three hours before they’re disturbed by Niall making an entrance into their room. He shouts morning and heads straight to the kitchen area. Louis groans and looks down to see Harry smug face staring up at him. Groaning at how tired he is.

"Morning." Harry says using Louis chest to brush the hair out of his eyes.

Louis kisses his head and tells Niall to pass him his cigarettes, which surprisingly throws to him straight away. He pulls one out and lights up as he’s walking to the window taking a drag. He blows the smoke out the window, hollowing his cheeks out. Harry doesn’t know why but it turns him on, makes him want to drop to knees and Louis knows it.

“Oi Niall!” Louis shouts not breaking eye contact with Harry.

“Yeah mate?” Niall walks out of the kitchen area with a pint and a packet of crisps.

“Get out.” Louis tells him nonchalantly. “I mean unless you like to watch Harry and I fucking then you’re welcome to stay.”

He breaks eye contact with Harry and looks over at Niall to check its had the reaction he expected. Niall just mumbles something about being late, nervously laughs and walks out before going a embarassed shade of red.

Louis walks over to the bed and instructs Harry to lie down on his stomach. Then Louis grabs him by his knees and pulls him so he’s leaning over the edge of the bed. He peppers kisses at the top of his thighs and nibbles to leave marks. Harry whines become louder as Louis continues.

“Want me to eat you out baby?” He asks.

“Yes Daddy, please.” He’s getting frustrated now.

“Always so polite baby.”

Louis kisses against Harry’s hole before licking around it, causing Harry to gasp and squeeze his eyes close. He prods the tip of his tongue in and Harry pushes back desperate for more. Louis pulls out before thrusting half of his tongue back in. He only does a three or four times before he hears Harry crying into the sheets.

Louis puts one hand on the back of Harry’s thigh and his forearm on his back to stop him from moving so much. Then he just goes for it. Being messy and sloppy so Harry can physically hear the squelch of Louis mouth against him. He’s crying “Daddy” into the sheets and trying to push up against Louis for some more friction but he can’t. He so close just needs a little more but Louis doing everything he can and it’s just not enough.  

Then the contacts gone. Harry looks around and Louis still there, still extremely close to him. He can see Louis hollowing his cheeks again and Harry doesn’t have a clue whats going on. Then feels cold air hit him followed by Louis saying “Come” and never did Harry think thats all it would take for him to see stars. He feels numb and dead to the world, everything’s muffled and light. He feels like he’s on a cloud in one of Louis soft jumpers and a blanket. He feels warm and happy. But then again thats probably not the sex, Louis makes him feel warm and happy. That’s all he’ll ever need.

 

 


End file.
